TALIB ABU TAHREEM
One of the distinctive characteristics of man that differentiates him from other species is his incomparably high level of consciousness. Owing to this unparalleled degree of awareness, man’s emotions—whether pleasant or unpleasant—are far more intense compared to other life forms.
One such emotion which has been studied extensively for its effects on man’s individual and social life is anger. Although it is a fact that all human emotions, including anger, are appropriate when employed at optimal degrees in optimal circumstances, research shows that anger can have detrimental effects and can induce violence, if not managed properly.[1]
Anger can ruin a person’s reputation and adversely affect their spiritual and moral well-being. Apart from this, diabetes, coronary diseases, bulimia nervosa, and increased risk of car accidents are all among the disadvantages of anger.[2]
In our daily lives, we may encounter various events that frustrate us and test our patience. Driving through rush hour traffic, dealing with a tough day at work, or reading provocative comments on social media can all trigger irritation and leave us feeling exacerbated. As the incontinent expression of these emotions can have damaging outcomes, we require proper guidance on how to regulate them and exercise self-restraint in such circumstances.
This article will seek to address the issue from an Islamic perspective and explain the effectiveness of the teachings of the Holy Quran and Prophet Muhammadsa with regard to anger management. I must admit, however, before proceeding, that I sometimes find it hard to keep my anger in check; therefore, I consider everything discussed hereafter as primarily directed at myself.
How Islam views anger
Islam acknowledges the fact that no human emotion is wrong in itself, rather it is the inappropriate expression of those emotions that brings about negative outcomes. This is the reason that the Holy Quran exhorts its followers to control their anger and forgive the wrongdoings of fellow human beings. It says:
“Those who spend in prosperity and adversity, and those who suppress anger and pardon men; and Allah loves those who do good.”[3]
Forgoing people’s faults and forgiving them has been taught by the Holy Prophetsa to be a highly virtuous deed. On one occasion, he said that those who suppress their rage while having the power to retribute would have outstanding rewards in the hereafter.[4] Explaining the significance of controlling anger in even more explicit terms, the Holy Prophetsa said:
“A strong person is not the one who knocks people down. A strong person is the one who has control over himself during anger.”[5]
Similarly, on another occasion, when a man approached him seeking advice, he admonished him to not get angry.[6]
Is it not bad to bottle up anger?
With reference to the harmful effects of suppressing emotions, it is often argued that pouring out anger is the best way to get rid of aggressive feelings. Often, many ‘unharmful’ ways are proposed to execute this exercise like yelling curses at a hated person’s picture, screaming into a pillow, pounding punching bags etc.
Though the idea sounds logical superficially, research has proven that this practice does not provide the purported benefit of reducing anger. On the contrary, a 2002 study found that such an approach to dealing with anger can have extremely negative consequences.[7]
In the study, 602 angered participants were randomly assigned into three groups—rumination group, distraction group and control group. Participants in the rumination group were asked to hit a punching bag with the thought of the person who angered them in mind while the members of the distraction group were to punch the bag thinking of getting physically fit. Participants in the control group did not get to hit anything but were asked to sit quietly for two minutes. When their anger was measured afterwards, it was found that aggression level was highest in the rumination group and lowest in the control group implying that venting anger would only feed the flame and not extinguish it.
In another study, researchers examined the perceived value of rant sites—websites that serve as forums for people to rant about those who anger them. It was found that though people reported feeling calm immediately after ranting, in the long run, the process caused their anger to increase.[8]
Here, the Holy Quran rightly commands its followers to overlook and not respond to people’s annoying talks and behaviours. It says:
“And leave alone their annoyance, and put thy trust in Allah; for Allah is sufficient as a Guardian.”[9]
Hence, studies clearly suggest that free and unrestrained expression of anger only contributes to increasing the level of anger and aggression in a person.
Melting anger without a meltdown
Here the question may arise as to how a person should release the intense emotions bottling up inside them. It should be understood that anger is our emotional response to being wronged. Anger is legitimised when our mind thinks that we have been treated inappropriately. If pouring out is not an option, is there any other way to get rid of the negative thoughts getting stifled inside us? Of course yes.
According to Islam, the most beneficial and the most preferred method to treat anger is forgiveness. The Holy Quran and Prophet Muhammadsa have laid great stress on the importance of forgiving others. In one place, the Holy Quran says:
“And he who is patient and forgives—that surely is a matter of strong determination.”[10]
Research shows that the act of forgiving comes with a myriad of benefits. A 2017 study concluded that forgiveness is directly associated with low stress levels and increased mental health.[11] Another study suggests that forgiveness of others and self is associated with better physical health.[12] Yet another study conducted on drug-dependent patients found that forgiveness therapy decreased the level of risk of relapse, which is most often caused by anger, anxiety and depression.[13]
Moreover, a true believer is required to express all his pain and anguish before God as for him, it is the remembrance of God that provides catharsis of self.
How to prevent angry outbursts
In addition to providing basic principles, Islam’s anger management strategy also includes practical ways following which a person can learn to control his rage during flare-ups and also increase his anger threshold.
Once, two men were abusing each other in front of the Holy Prophetsa. One of the two abused the other furiously while his face also turned red in anger. Seeing this, the Holy Prophetsa said if he had recited the words, ‘I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast’ it would have caused him to relax.[14]
Research shows that if a person takes a time-out when angry by simply counting from one to ten, it can help calm them down.[15] However, there is no doubt that taking such a time-out by remembering God and invoking His help, as the Holy Prophetsa advised, would be even more effective. Remembering God would remind one of the accountability in the hereafter and would most likely prevent them from acting aggressively. Notably, the study specifically mentions that such a delay would reduce aggression only when there are obvious consequences for anger and not otherwise.
Explaining how one should behave when they feel compelled to act angrily, the Holy Prophetsa said:
“When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.”[16]
This prescription is extremely beneficial and is also corroborated by scientific research. A 2018 study found that the impact of frustration on anger and aggressive behaviour is reduced in reclined seating positions.[17]
In yet another narration, the Holy Prophetsa gives the following advice regarding anger:
“Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water. So when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.”[18]
This, again, is a highly effective method to reduce stress and control anger. Many studies validate the effectiveness of the usage of water in anger and stress management. Research shows that splashing water on the face or chilling or wetting the nostrils triggers a reaction in humans known as the diving reflex, which slows down the heart rate and constricts certain blood vessels thereby calming the person down almost instantaneously.[19] Similarly, another study showed that footbath or washing the feet induces comfort and relaxation and significantly decreases stress.[20]
Hence, it can safely be concluded that the Islamic approach and the teachings of the Holy Prophetsa with regard to anger management are highly effective in terms of preventing angry outbursts. Moreover, studies have also proved the effectiveness of the Islamic approach in boosting the overall anger-management skills in people, especially teenagers.[21]
Control anger before it controls you
Since we live in a world where we are constantly confronted with situations that can trigger our anger and result in intentional or unintentional explosions of rage, it is essential that we learn to tame our temper and gain control over our emotions.
Islam requires us to practice patience, exhibit tolerance and not be overcome by negative emotions. Instead, a true believer is expected to remain capable of making rational decisions at all times, which becomes difficult when driven by rage.
The Holy Founder of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmadas says:
“Remember! Wisdom and anger completely repel each other. And whoever is patient and displays a model of even-mindedness is given a light which freshly illuminates his senses and then light goes on to create light. Since anger and fury darkens the heart and the mind, darkness goes on to engender darkness.”[22]
Anger is a normal human emotion, but its unrestrained expression can harm both our psychological and physical health, as well as impact our relationships with others. Since it is impossible to stop others from provoking us, the best approach is to prevent anger from controlling us.
END NOTES
[1] Sanctions, Perceived Anger, and Criminal Offending, Stephanie Carmichael & Alex R Piquero (2004), Journal of Quantitative Criminology
[2] Anger and Health Risk Behaviors, Mihaela-Luminiţa Staicu & Mihaela Cuţov (2010), Journal of Medicine and Life
[3] Holy Quran 3:135
[4] Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Birr was-Silah (The Book on Righteousness and Maintaining Good Relations with Relatives)
[5] Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Adab (The Book on Good Manners and Form)
[6] Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Adab (The Book on Good Manners and Form)
[7] Does Venting Anger Feed or Extinguish the Flame? Catharsis, Rumination, Distraction, Anger, and Aggressive Responding, Brad J Bushman (2002), Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
[8] Anger on the Internet: The Perceived Value of Rant-Sites, Ryan C Martin et al. (2013), Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking
[9] Holy Quran 33: 49
[10] Holy Quran 42: 44
[11] Forgiveness, Stress, and Health: A 5-Week Dynamic Parallel Process Study, Loren L Toussaint et al. (2016), Annals of Behavioral Medicine
[12] Forgiveness and Physical Health in Healthy Populations, Alyssa C D Cheadle & Loren L Toussaint, Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health pp. 91-106
[13] Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Recovery Among Residents of Drug Rehabilitation Centers, Myrtle Orbon et al. (2015), Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences
[14] Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Adab (The Book on Good Manners and Form)
[15] Does Counting to Ten Increase or Decrease Aggression? The Role of State Self-Control (Ego-Depletion) and Consequences, Jeffrey M Osgood & Mark Muraven (2016), Journal of Applied Social Psychology
[16] Sunan Abi Dawud, Kitab al-Adab (The Book on General Behaviour)
[17] Lean Back and Relax: Reclined Seating Position Buffers the Effect of Frustration on Anger and Aggression, Barbara Krahé et al. (2018), European Journal of Social Psychology
[18] Sunan Abi Dawud, Kitab al-Adab (The Book on General Behaviour)
[19] Effects of Varying Thermal and Apneic Conditions on the Human Diving Reflex, D F Speck & Bruce D S (1978), Undersea Biomedical Research
[20] Autonomic, Neuro-Immunological and Psychological Responses to Wrapped Warm Footbaths – A Pilot Study, K Yamamoto et al. (2008), Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice
[21] The Effectiveness of Islamic Approach and Cognitive Behavior Modification Approach to Boost the Anger Management Skills of Students in Madrasah Tsanawiyah Negeri (MTsN) I Batu, Esa Nur Wahyuni & Alfin Mustikawan, Conference: International Conference of Islamic Education: Reforms, Prospects and Challenges Faculty of Tarbiyah and Teaching Training, Maulana Malik Ibrahim State Islamic University, Malang
[22] Malfuzat v. 3, p. 180
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